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Happy American Holiday everyone! Launch fireworks, eat hotdogs and hamburgers, get  CRAZY! America exists! CELEBRATE!

No, I’m not using the 4th as an excuse to delay posting for a week! I actually have something I want to rant about. Honest!

So I was watching Astarotte no Omocha the other day… you know, the one that is supposed to be about a 10-year old succubus that has to suck life energy from a man, despite her hatred of men… but is ACTUALLY about how the random human male selected is secretly her mother’s ex-lover and how she is also falling for him in an odd and, frankly, awkward way? Anyways. That. That thing. So I was watching the last couple of episodes and… nothing made sense. The series had been kinda drifting along on premise anyways, but suddenly they decided (as many anime do) that the last two episodes are the best place to try to toss a DRAMATIC PLOT TWIST!

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of good anime have done the DRAMATIC PLOT TWIST without it feeling bad. In fact, some even made it feel good. Take Ouran for example. It was the event that pushed the main character into action, rewarded a starving fanbase and gave us a high note to go out on. All-in-all, we left the last episode of Ouran feeling good.

That is NOT the case with this crap.

Okay, so… I’m not sure how much my average reader will know about this show, but let me set up what little cosmology we are given. There is the human world and then there are a bunch of other worlds. All the other worlds are connected through the magical world tree, but humanity was chopped off because humans ruin everything. Anyways, they briefly opened the gate to let in two plot-relevant humans, but apparently their presence is throwing the tree out of whack… and it is releasing red leaves to erase the hell out of them… or at least their colored-pencil picture diaries…Oh and the princess has a red mark on her back. Maybe it is trying to erase the part of her that was touched by humanity.

Still with me? Okay. Now, they introduce a thing where the main human character and his daughter can no longer hear or be heard by residents of this world, as they are fading out of existence in this plane or something… but that doesn’t even last until the end of the episode! The massive second-to-last-episode cliffhanger was that the princess finally asked him out on a DATE! GASP! HOW WILL THIS SERIES END?!

They’ve been pushing the entire 23 year-old human and 10 year-old succubus romance hard in this one… I thought it might turn into more of a father-figure thing, seeing as he is the only good male role-model she’s had below 60. (The fact that he’d slept with her mother couldn’t hurt either.) But no, we are going to riiiiiiiide this premise to the very end, despite the fact that they don’t seem to want to commit to the entire “sucking him off for life-energy” bit. So, our dramatic last episode consists of the following: A boring date at an amusement park, complete with the one drink with a 2-headed straw bit… then a tearful goodbye… then magical skype…. then some sort of ceremony or something… and then the main character rides back in on a dragon. Bam. That’s it. There was no drama in the DRAMATIC PLOT TWIST. There was no tension… there was no POINT, either… oh… and remember that mark on the princess? It turns out it was a bug bite. Why put it there to begin with?! It isn’t as though it was thoroughly explained what it was supposed to do to begin with!

I hate it. I hate it soooo much. It was a sub-par “meh” anime to begin with, but I watched it to see what they would do with it. They decided not to do anything. The magical rabbit sage girl? Oh she is just here for a gag. Don’t expect her to ACT like the most learned person in the realm and be able to tell the difference between a matter-erasing energy and a mosquito bite. “But what about the queen?!” What about the queen! We set up some sort of romantic sub-plot, but we never went back to it.

It is a massive problem with this sort of deal… The author didn’t plan anything in advance. Things are being made up on the spot… and, as such, we don’t have any sort of satisfying conclusion… just another pile of crap. We are told something mysterious is going on and we should care. Then we are told it is resolved. Great. If you haven’t seen this crap, you are missing NOTHING. If you are watching this, stop cold turkey. Just walk away. You will be better for it.